As moms, we are often driven to pursue definitions of what a good mother looks like to the point that we completely lose ourselves in the process. At least that is what happened to me. One day I woke up and realized I hadn’t been deeply happy in a long time. I rooted around inside myself to find the reason. What I discovered horrified me:
I did not like being a mother.
Just thinking this thought brought tears to my eyes and sent me into bad-mom-mental-hell. How could the girl who at six prayed with every fiber of her being for God to turn her baby doll into real live baby not like motherhood? How did the woman who had prayed and prayed “Please God let this month be the month the pregnancy test is positive” 15 months in a row become a woman who resented being a mother?
I disgusted myself…For a while.
After I finished self-loathing, I started searching for the answer to those questions. And this is what I found:
The problem wasn’t that I didn’t like being a mother in a way that had anything to do with my children. I loved them with an intensity that had and still has the power to leave me breathless. The problem was what I thought a good mother was supposed to be.
I thought being a good mother meant I stopped caring for my needs when I started caring for my children’s needs.
Simply realizing this freed me in a way that I can’t quite describe. It was like an invisible weight had been lifted off my chest. It also led me on a journey back to myself.
The life I found on the other side of that journey is truly incredible. My relationship to my children and husband improved. Opportunities appeared everywhere.
- I left corporate work and started my own business. I do the work I love.
- I found kickboxing, yoga and rediscovered rock climbing.
- I lost 25 lbs.
- I created a new group of friends and enjoyed my old ones even more.
- I learned to cook new foods and accept that even new foods couldn’t make me like cooking.
- But most of all, I stopped worrying about who I was supposed to be and paying more attention to who I wanted to be.
- And I fell back in love with my life and that love intensified all the love I was sending out to everyone around me – most especially my husband and children!
And it is now my mission to support every mom who is ready to journey back to herself. Your journey probably won’t look like mine. My hope is that you haven’t nor will you ever reach the pain level I did. But there are three things essential on your journey no matter what that journey looks like:
Time to Relax
Time to Reconnect
Space to Reinvent
The moms that have worked with me in my private coaching practice have seen monumental shifts in their life and relationships but not every mom can afford high end private coaching and I want to make this work available to as many women as possible.
I founded Mom Gets A Life to bring high end coaching to all moms at mom-friendly prices.
I believe this work is essential not only to us as individuals but also to the world at large. Terrorism is a growing threat in our world and our children’s future. As mother’s we have the power to combat this threat with love and understanding rather than war. What mother cannot understand the despair a woman must feel at seeing terrorism as her child’s option?
This is why a portion of all profits at Mom Gets A Life will be donated to Kiva. Micro-loans to mothers in impoverished nations creates hope within families. And hope is the greatest deterrent to terrorism I believe exists. Read more here.
I am committed to redefining motherhood for you and me and most especially our children!