Last month we spoke with Kristin Maschka of Remodeling Motherhood on the TelePARTY. Kristen discussed how mothers over the last 100 years have slowly acquired more and more responsibility that has led to the “Mother of All To Do lists.”
What I have found while working with clients is that each of us creates our own personal version of the “Mother of All To Do lists” over our own lifetimes. Once we become mothers that list naturally expands at lightening speed.
When I speak with clients, what I often hear is “I’m overwhelmed and I really don’t know why.” The client then tells me all the reasons she should be able to handle her tasks. Usually, she also throws in some “I-should-be-grateful-for-all-I-have” comments as well. (Notice that now not only does the person feel overwhelmed, but now she also feels guilty for being overwhelmed.)
I used to do the same thing until I realized a few secret tricks to unhinge all that guilt and overwhelm. I shared them with our members on our monthly group call on Tuesday.
Although I couldn’t give you the whole kit and kaboodle in this one post, I will give you my favorite trick right here:
Write down your entire task list.
That’s it?
Yup – that’s it!
I’ll warn you it is not as easy as you think. So I’ve created a 30 day challenge to really get your full list down on paper.
For the next 30 days, I want you to write a complete list of every single thing you are holding over your own head AND the list must be at least 1000 items before you stop!
You heard me - 1000!
I have yet to find a client who could not complete this assignment – and most didn’t stop at 1000.
But to help get you started, I’ll give you hints. Include in the list all the “wrongs” you’ve done that you need to make right. You can also include all the things you are not yet doing but think you need to do “some day.” Write down everything – including the mundane, tedious and obvious tasks like – Get my son to school, pick him up, make sure he brushes his teeth, brush my teeth, somehow find that girl I was mean to in eighth grade and apologize to her for making her cry…
When you see how much you are holding over your own head, the overwhelm won’t seem so confusing. And when the overwhelm starts to make sense, the guilt will go away. And when you free up all the mental space you were taking up with your massive task list, along with all the guilt and overwhelm…
You’ll actually start to get some stuff done and realize you are a freakin’ Rock Star in the process!
Fill me in on how it’s going!
Patty you’re amazing! This is a really great post and a good exercise for anyone.
Thanks Cassie! I love this challenge because it really has serious power!
Love this, and YOU, Patty! Thanks for sharing!!
MWAH MWAH Payson!
Wow, what a challenge. I love dump list, its how I clear my head. I have to try 1,000. I often do 100 usually but don’t include things like brushing my teeth. Love that you shared with Moms that it is do able if you look at it from a different angle.
Let me know how the race for 1000 goes Renee!
Great Post Patty! What a challenge.
hahahaha Thanks Robyn!
Patty:
I am revving into a new cycle and have tons of energy and feel like I’m gaining some clarity. I’m a driven person and willing to throw out old ideas, so this is working well for me. I am reading The 4-Hour Work Week and gleaning ideas from that to apply to my ways of working at home. Yesterday someone who is launching her own career into coaching people into finding their own passions (kind of like you, in a sense), was telling me how she thinks the most useful approach is managing all of this by “mindful scheduling.” Then last night as I was reading “4-Hour” I was receiving this message about “working from priorities” and letting the rest go (elimination). Today I am feeling these are opposites and I am embracing the work-from-priorities advice. The key piece is elimination, which it seems like your post above is leading to. I can’t say I’m going to run out and make my list of 1,000 things, but I can definitely see the power in it (maybe I will later?). Right now, I’m easily casting things to the wind, so I think right now the steam has been generated to propel me. I’ll give a concrete example: I keep volunteering for more on the Parent Association of our school. I want to follow through with things I’ve already volunteered for, but I’m going to find ways of working more efficiently, not harder (right from 4-Hour, of course). I’m responsible for taking notes at the PA meetings and I have the task I’ve been avoiding which is to type them up. So, today I’m going to tackle it, but I’m going to put them into a format which is much more simplified and focused on the PA group action items, but I’m going to leave out the fluff–no use being a reporter on everything everyone said in the meeting. Just action items. And, I’ll present the “notes” and clearly state that this is the level of note taking I’m willing to sustain. If someone wants to do more work on the notes, they may have at it! Yea, Me! (By the way, it was such good fortune to meet you in NY at the MOM Mindful Mothering conference. That was a great day and I’d wished we had more time to connect there. I’m on facebook. Email me if you can’t find me. I’m friends with Families for Conscious Living and my blog-FB page is “Hearth and Gnome .com”
[...] We sat next to each other–she took notes on her laptop and I noticed that she had some sort of system for making purposeful use out of the conference presentations toward her blogging, perhaps her own personal life–it seemed she might be putting items on her calendar or to do list, or something. Not to mention she was tweeting, I think. Anyway, it turns out we had some great conversations and lunch. I only wished we’d been able to connect some more. It felt we had more to talk about. I’ve been waiting for my right moment to look at her website, Mom Gets A Life –>. Today I did and I’m excited that Patty has practical suggestions to bring us some clarity and simplicity. I posted my own comment on Patty’s post, “Dump Your Massive Task List: A 30-Day Challenge!–>!” [...]