Wow! I was not aware of the origin of Mother’s Day. Julia Ward Howe established Mother’s Day to unite mothers everywhere against war. Here is the Mother’s Day Proclamation Ms. Howe authored for Mother’s Day. Sadly I think this proclamation may still be needed even more today.
“Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts, Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons [and daughters] shall not be taken from us to unlearn All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country To allow our sons [and daughters] to be trained to injure theirs.”
From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own. It says: “Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.” Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war, Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means Whereby the great human family can live in peace, Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, But of God.
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask That a general congress of women without limit of nationality May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient And at the earliest period consistent with its objects, To promote the alliance of the different nationalities, The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.
—Julia Ward Howe”
A couple of weeks ago, I regaled you all of the tale on how my mother and I rejected some help we desperately needed because we didn’t think we needed it. You can read more about that here.
Recognizing that perhaps sometimes the Universe sends you the help you need rather than the help you want I gave myself a challenge: For one month I will accept any and all help offered to me.
That month is coming to an end and here is what I learned:
1. There is an art to receiving graciously. I am starting to learn that art, but it does not come naturally. There is some confused part of me that believes there is value in doing it alone.
I’ve learned to smile at every offer. Receive with open arms and allow the wise part of my being that understands there is no value in going it alone to offer the giver a proper thank you.
2. Receiving BIG help with an open heart cleanses the soul. I accepted some really huge help from some amazing people these last couple of weeks. Up until recently, receiving at this level would have felt humiliating (as in “I’m embarrassed I even need this much help”). But something magnificent happened.
It was like someone hit a reset button on my soul. A big stream of love washed over me each time I took in the beauty of the other person’s gift and it made me feel safe and relaxed at a time when I really need to feel those things.
3. Receiving from others teaches you a new story about your life. I have a new appreciation for how many wonderful people surround me. I am in awe of the generosity of people I would have called acquaintances a few weeks ago. I now call them friends.
I am deeply grateful for my life.
What about you? Are you willing to take this challenge? Accept any and all help offered to you for 30 days and see what happens. Then come back here and tell me about it! I can’t wait to hear!
He thinks I’m the coolest Mom in the universe.
Would you like to know what it took for me to earn that status? What Mom wouldn’t want to know that secret?
I went deep inside looking for that little voice that we call intuition and made a huge decision, one so out of my character but one that felt oh so right. I decided that even though my little brain gave me hundreds of reasons why the answer should be no, my deepest, most essential self pounded her chest like Tarzan and said YES!
Even though I was worried sick about how this decision would affect my then 12 year old son.
What was the question? you may be asking…
The question(s) was: Should I upset the apple cart of my son’s life by making a move across the country from rural (and yes, in many ways perfect) Connecticut to the unfamiliar little mountain town of Crested Butte, CO? Should I break the news to Ryan that we were selling our house and he would soon be faced with saying good-bye to the friends he had grown up with, the room he had decorated, the lake he had grown to love ice-skating on in the winter and swimming in during the summer? Should I (Heaven forbid) rock his perfect little world so that I could live my life to it’s fullest even if that felt a little scary?
Yes, I should.
And I did.
And that’s what makes me the coolest Mom in the universe.
On a daily basis, my son gets to see me happy, fulfilled and even courageous as I dive into helmet wearing sports, explore new ventures and make friends. He gets to see my partner Ralph and me living our lives with a renewed sense of wonder and awe, our relationship rekindled as our family takes on this spirited adventure discovering all the wonderful aspects of our new home together.
This was an added benefit that I couldn’t possibly have anticipated.
Ryan didn’t know it at the time because it was hard for him to see past his temper tantrum, but nudging him a little (ok, a lot) out his comfort zone while I did the same created a mutual respect that we will be with us through eternity.
At the time we made our decision to make this big move, I really didn’t have any practical reasons for the decision other than the fact that Ralph and I had grown weary of our stressful, over-scheduled lives and we agreed we needed a giant change. A life in the Rocky Mountains, meeting new and interesting people, climbing mountains and breathing the thin air at over 9,000 feet felt exhilarating deep in my bones. How do you explain that to a 12 year old who thinks his life is perfect?
 You simply need to trust. I learned that if I was making a decision, any decision that felt so clean and right, despite what may be happening on the outside (including the disapproving looks and comments from many friends and family) then it had to be right for my child. I trusted that that’s the way universe worked. It had to.
And it did. Ryan took to the Rocky Mountains the way a baby otter eventually takes to the water when his mamma pushes him in. He skis, he climbs, he explores, he hangs with his new buddies and he looks at me daily with a big grin that says “Thanks Mom.”
No, Ry, thank you.
Two weeks ago, my mom’s oncologist sat across from us and told us that my mom’s cancer was not responding to chemo. Medical intervention no longer had a place in my mother’s journey.
Being a mind reader, I recognized instantly that he didn’t hold out a lot of hope that my mom could get better. I quickly set him straight (with my mom’s approval).
“Dr. Smartypants, we appreciate your help up until this point but we also have a strong spiritual belief. We believe in miracles. We believe my mom can get better.” (My mouth smiled but my eyes said “Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!”)
“Even so, it would be appropriate to contact hospice at this time,” he offered gently.
“Are you f**king kidding me?!!!” I screamed in my head. We do not need Hospice! Hospice is for people who are dying. We don’t need THAT kind of help!
Dr. Smartypants included Hospice’s information in my mother’s paperwork as she checked out. She threw it away. She didn’t think she needed that kind of help either.
Later that night a woman from Hospice called my mom to introduce herself. My mom let it go to the voicemail. Hospice lady called two more times. My mom continued to not call her back. She didn’t need THAT kind of help.
I was relaying this story to my good friend and colleague Theresa Robbins. She very gently suggested that my mom and I remain open to what Hospice could do. “Patty, my aunt received help from Hospice for years after she was considered terminal. They are really amazing. Think about it. Agreeing to receive Hospice doesn’t mean you are agreeing to die.”
My mom reached this conclusion on her own. Not sure how. She is just plain amazing. Hospice came and they were, in fact, wonderful. The services they could provide took a huge weight off my mom and to a certain extent off me.
I was so wrong. My mom did need THAT kind of help. I needed THAT kind of help.
Something even more amazing happened after I accepted Hospice’s help in my heart. Other help started to show up and it looked surprisingly like the kind of help I did need.
Perhaps the Universe knows better than us exactly what help we need.
I think so often we refuse help because it doesn’t look like the kind of help we think we need. Maybe if we (I) started accepting ALL the help that came our (my) way things would feel much easier.
How about you? What help are you turning away right now because you don’t need THAT kind of help? Would you consider taking THAT kind of help just for a little while to see what happens? I’d love to hear your thoughts below!
I’m on vacation with the kiddos this week. It never really feels like a vacation. More like unpaid work. I know that is not what  I’m supposed to say but as we come to the end of this week I have vague memories of some good times together but mostly here the cries of “I’m bored.” ringing in my ears, which compels me to DO something to make them not bored. Not because I have a problem with them being bored but because I’m kind of tired of hearing them say “I’m bored.”
Oh yeah, and you could throw in a dash of guilt because I’ve been working so much lately that I feel like they deserve my best when they are around.
I’d love some advice. Have you mastered the art of enjoying your kids’ vacation? I’ll even accept answers from Mrs. Romney – heh heh.
By MGAL Expert Theresa Robbins
Being a member of Mom Gets a Life says something about you…and not just that you’re a mom. It says that you value yourself and your happiness, you value learning and growth and it tells me that you are one courageous woman.
That might sound about right to you or you might be thinking, “Me, courageous? Really?”
Yes, really. Anyone who chooses to learn and and grow, anyone who chooses to try something new, anyone who chooses to value herself and her happiness (especially the woman who has been taught to put others first) feels fear.
And if you got fear, you got the raw material for courage. Courage isn’t about being fearless. Fearless people have no need for courage.
Courage means feeling scared and doing the thing that scares you anyway.
Remember the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz? He chose to travel to the Emerald City to ask the Wizard for courage. Making that choice required courage. When he and his band of travelers encountered danger, he chose to step up. Courage.
As the story closes, the “Cowardly” Lion realizes that he had courage all along, but he hadn’t made the choice to see himself as courageous because he also had fear.
Do not make this mistake. Courage and fear go hand in hand. You cannot have courage without fear.
The way you choose to see yourself, the way you choose to define yourself creates the results you get. Defining yourself as lacking courage will only hold you back and keep you right where you are.
That’s why being a member tells me that you are one courageous woman. To choose membership, you felt fear, but you chose to participate anyway.
Choose to see yourself as courageous. Because like your heart, courage is a muscle that needs to be exercised and challenged. The more you use it, the more you have. The more you have, the more you can use it to get more of what you value.
What does it take to get unstuck?
Is it a lot of work?
Screw it.
I’m too tired.
I’m not even sure why I asked.
 I need rest! This was a one-sided conversation my friend had with me after she saw that I was offering Breakthrough Sessions to “Get Unstuck.”
I love the wisdom in this conversation.
The one thing keeping my friend from moving forward was exhaustion and she already knew it.
When we feel stuck, often the first place we need to start to get unstuck is to get some rest.
Does this resonate with your soul? Is there a little voice inside you right now saying “YES! Finally someone that understands! I’m tired!” Listen to that voice. It is wise.
Your soul is craving rest. It needs to refuel. How this happens for each person is unique but here are some options I find work for most:
A little less giving.
A little more receiving.
Some time to yourself.
An earlier bed time.
Less t.v.
More music.
More fresh air.
Quiet.
A fully fueled, not-at-all exhausted soul is rarely stuck for long. If you are feeling stuck, start here. Give your soul some rest and begin to be amazed with yourself again!
Over the weekend the Hubs and I were able to sneak off to the movies. We saw Salmon Fishing in Yemen.
There are a few good subplots but the one that pulled me in was the plight of the farm salmon. In the movie, we learn that farm salmon have had their natural instinct to swim upstream domesticated right out of them.
Slowly over generations these highly intuitive fish were trained to just be ok with the boundaries created for them.
In order for the protagonist to prevail, these salmon must return to their natural instinct of swimming upstream. If they don’t all will be lost. And that is what really drew me in.
Moms are salmon. (Stay with me here for a moment.)
Motherhood is in crisis. Over generations, we’ve been trained to ignore our intuition and seek guidance outside ourselves. Yet inside lie the answers.
Following our inner guidance can feel challenging (like swimming upstream) but it is more natural than anything else we know. NOT swimming upstream is what leaves us feeling dull and bloated (metaphorically speaking).
It is also scary when all the other domesticated fish, I mean moms, are going with societal flow and we feel like moving in the opposite direction.
So what’s a domesticated fish to do?
Spoiler Alert: In the movie, the farm salmon are released into open water. All start to swim downstream THEN a single fish turns around and starts to swim upstream. Within moments the other fish start to “remember” and turn around as well.
It only took one fish in 10,000 to change everything. You have that kind of power.
When you tap into the power of inner guidance, your shift will be felt by many and they will follow. They won’t follow you necessarily. They will learn to follow natural instinct.
Learn to follow your inner guidance and you will change the path for those around you and especially for those that come after you!
Salmon Power!
Um, I mean…
Mom Power!
Can you smell it? Oh Yeah – that is Spring, Baby! I revel in being able to see the grass again. I’ve missed it. Have you? Perhaps you are in a part of the country where your grass wasn’t hiding but maybe your growth was. It happens.
Winter is naturally a time to hibernate – to go inwards. There are many gifts that can come with introspection. But too much introspection and not enough fresh air do not a happy girl (or boy) make.
So here are some tips to help you get your Spring on!
1. Write down some really, REALLY BIG dreams. Simply acknowledging these dreams is a seed planted. Ohhhh, can’t wait to see what those beauties will bring!
2. Give yourself some nourishment at your soul level. Tell yourself how fabulous you are – ON A DAILY BASIS! This is the sun and water those seeds need to grow. When you fully own your greatness, your dreams find a much faster pathway to your doorstep!
3. Spring Clean – Stop hanging on to any thoughts that are just taking up space and no longer serve a purpose. Give them the old heave-ho. This is not always easy so if you need help, get help! Talk to a friend, coach, mentor about this thought you’ve been holding onto. See it for what it is – clutter and release it.
4. Get some fresh air. Literally and figuratively. Get out more and start having new conversations with different people. New ideas are like fresh air to the soul. Breathe some in.
5. Go Play! It is getting warmer now and that sun is telling us it is time to play! There is no metaphor or symbolism here. Just plain, old-fashioned play. Whether your play is jumping on a swing, running or just hanging out with good friends in the sun – Do it!
By MGAL Expert Theresa Robbins
You probably already are, but don’t quite realize how lucky you really are.
Any time things went “wrong” my mom told me I had a little black cloud that followed me around. She basically labeled me “unlucky”.
And I believed her. If there was a ball being tossed, I was sure to get hit in the face. The summer I was 15, I sat in gum three times. Three!
For years, I saw myself through the lens of Un-lucky. When things didn’t work out, I blamed it on my unluckiness. Over time, I labeled myself as a victim of life’s circumstances doomed to a plethora of unlucky experiences.
Since then, however, I learned that we all create our own reality. Which means I am not unlucky unless I believe I am.
All those “unlucky” things didn’t happen because I was unlucky. It’s just that stuff happens (and I apparently needed a few lessons in being present).
So I changed my lens to the Lucky Lens. Over time that little black cloud dissipated into clear blue skies simply by viewing everything as an opportunity to learn and grow.
I knew I was on to something when my family and I were run off the freeway by semi. After the ordeal, we all stood on the side of the road laughing and high fiving each other. We were grateful to be alive and reveled in how lucky we were.
That’s when it hit me. Luck is simply another form of gratitude. It’s finding a way to frame your life in terms of how it’s working for you instead of against you. It’s appreciating down deep in your heart all that is.
Wanna get lucky?
You gotta feel lucky. To feel lucky you gotta feel gratitude for what’s coming your way. To feel gratitude you gotta switch up your perspective by seeing how things happen for you. That’s it. Really. Give it a try. Practice on something small.
Last week I had the carpets cleaned. Since then our puppies have yacked on them four times (so not normal). At first I was tempted to pull out my hair and scream “Why?!”
Then I switched up my perspective and decided those puppies have exquisite timing. The carpet guy happens to be scheduled to be back at my house on Friday to clean my tile. How’s that for lucky?
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Photo by Tanzie Johnson Photography
Patty Lennon A successful life design coach and mom, Patty uses what she learned in her own journey through motherhood and back to herself to help women everywhere be as deeply in love with their own lives as they are with their children.
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